awhile back, i told yall about my new favorite blog, the man repeller.
well today, a man chimes in on the trends that we women love, but that men HATE.
- Animal print: I know it’s coming back because I see more Zebras and Cheetahs walking around the streets of New York every Saturday night. Sparing a limited array of feathers, anything that makes you look like an animal does not make me want to sleep with you It makes me want to shoot you, but not in the “Oops I didn’t mean to” Dick Cheney way
- Shoes: It is often hard to fathom that something so important in your minds eye may mean nothing to someone else, but it happens. That’s right ladies, most (straight) men don’t care what shoes you are wearing. We usually only look at your face. But big army boots are unappealing. They make you look more masculine than I am. Shoes with 1,000 buckles are a bitch to take off when we want to finally know one another biblicallyand multicolored neon sneakers that scream ‘NOTICE ME’ fall into this category too.
- Pants: I don’t know where the belly button covering pants idea came into play, but us men like a nice belly button.
- Capes: They are for super heroes and Halloween costumes. Keep them at home unless you plan on becoming ‘Cockblock’, the ultimate super villain who can’t get laid and therefore makes sure that none of her friends do either. Time for a “girls night out!” “F*ck boys!” is your slogan. Go buy some matches for your cape. This goes for big black ponchos as well.
- Oversized shirts: All men love when their girls looks like they just got out of bed and slapped on the button down he wore to work to make them cereal. But this trend has gone a bit too far. Some of the shirts you Repellers are wearing make you look like you just got ravaged by 3 Brad Pittscirca Fight Club. Some are enormous and don’t look like anything Fat Bastard would have worn. Some just look like your ex-boyfriends shirts that you loved too much to throw away…
- Big Bags: My mother once told me, “all girls have baggage Lee, just pick the ones with carry on.” I hold this true when it comes to fashion as well. There is no need to carry around EVERYTHING in one bag. Looking for shit takes you an hour, especially the keys to your apartment at 3:30 in the morning when you’re drunk. You are not Harry Potter and you don’t have a magical-fit-everything bag. When you go out carry a clutch and leave everything else at home.
i left out “holy shirts” and “american apparel bras” because those are both SICK. (read the whole post here.) as for those listed above, it bereaves me to know that this is how men feel…
does this mean i’ll start dressing differently?